Month: February 2020

(Cₗ) We as human beings have the capacity to learn, but with this comes the need for the ability to differentiate between intellectually thinking and analyzing a situation versus the emotions we are feeling in a situation. (I) According to David Foster Wallace in his essay “This Is Water”, (Q₁ ) “Probably the most dangerous thing about an academic education–least in my own case–is that it enables my tendency to over-intellectualize stuff, to get lost in abstract argument inside my head, instead of simply paying attention to what is going on right in front of me, paying attention to what is going on inside me” (3). (E) In saying this, Wallace is expressing his personal take on the education system and how the way he was taught to think takes him away from living in the moment sometimes. (T) Paul Bloom, author of the essay “Is Empathy Overrated?”, looks at the relationship between intellect and empathy in a similar way.  (Q₂) “Intellectually, we can value the lives of all these individuals; we can give them weight when we make decisions. But what we can’t do is empathize with all of them” (3). (Cₑ) Both of these authors see the importance of knowing when applying intellect in a situation is the correct choice over letting emotions and empathy control the choices we make.

The commencement speech written by David Foster Wallace covered several topics that I was drawn to and they really got me thinking. One in particular Foster mentioned in the second paragraph. He said, “the most obvious, important realities are often the hardest to see and talk about” (Wallace 1). This made me think about the everyday things that I do, some of which I don’t even realize I am doing, all of them are crucial to my well-being. I also thought about it in a different aspect of communication with others. When approaching communication with other people, I find the little things easy to forget about and to forget to address, so when it comes to actually needing to address them it makes everything a much bigger deal than it could have been in the first place. Another idea that Wallace brought up that I took a particular interest in was looking at how we see our realities, and how expanding the way we think allows us to do so. “But most days, if you’re aware enough to give yourself a choice, you can choose to look differently” (Wallace 6). When I read this I tied it back to what I was thinking about on the first page of the speech. Because Wallace is giving this speech at a college commencement, it made me think about my own life and what I am learning how to do for myself here at college. Learning how to think is one of these crucial elements that I am immersing myself in and getting to know better than I did before. I try to go through life at a point where I am aware enough to try and see the best in people, and this portion of the text was a good reminder to keep trying to learn to do this in the most adequate way possible.

1.) Social media was developed for a reason, it can be advantageous to various aspects of our everyday lives, but only if it is used in moderation. In Chen’s essay, he conveys social media as a tool which proves to be beneficial in maintaining relationships, but Konnikova emphasizes how this connection between people can only go so far without face-to-face interaction. 

My thesis statement started as a small idea that was a bullet point in my first set of ideas I developed during my writing process, and after writing an outline, producing a free draft, and receiving critique from peers I decided to run with this one. When I look at the thesis, I can see my own opinion on the matter shadowed by the relation the topic has to the author’s writing being analyzed in the essay. In the second sentence of the statement, I think I could have made the connection between the ideas in Konnikova and Chen’s essay a little stronger. In doing this, I could then change my word choice to make the link between my thoughts and the writer’s thoughts clearly. This would make the overall argument of my essay easier to analyze and allow the reader to think about the topic the way I am explaining it to a further extent. 

2.) When I sat down to begin the drafting process for Paper #1, I was reminded of the fact that I procrastinate way too often when it comes to starting my writing process. I was stressed for time when first trying to develop ideas for the essay so my initial thoughts were not very good. Once I forced myself to get into a grove and actually start letting my ideas flow, that’s when I realized the most crucial step for me in my process. In order to think about and find an idea that works for a paper, I just let my thoughts flow onto the paper and go look back over the list later to pick one that I can analyze best. This paper was a good experience for me in the aspect of actually sitting down and thinking about how I can develop a process that helps me get my writing done more efficiently.

3.) When revising my paper, global revisions came up mostly in the form of my voice and my ideas, specifically involving my own analysis of quotes in my writing. I never take my own thoughts into account when I involve the writer’s own words in particular. When I looked at these points where they were pointed out by my peers, I thought about what I was trying to say and took them a little further on paper. I did this in my second paragraph when talking about the Dunbar number, I brought my own ideas into account before introducing Konnikova’s thoughts.

4.) When looking at Paper 2, I am hoping to be able to improve in the first steps of the writing process surrounding the initial analysis of the writing. I read the Chen piece through a few times, but I didn’t understand it as well as I could have. If I had developed my understanding a little further I think it would have strengthened my opinions on the piece. When trying to tie the essays together and comparing their deep analytical meanings, I think I would have had a much easier time if I had a better understanding of the meanings.

1. Growing up I was always told that in order to even have a chance at success I needed to complete an extensive course of education, pre-K, elementary, middle, high, college, some even push all the way for further education after getting a four-year bachelor’s degree. It is common opinion that if you do not complete all of these steps of schooling you won’t be successful. This makes sense, as early education teaches children the building blocks, knowledge, creativity, individuality, social skills, etc.. In “Between the World and Me”, written by Ta-Nehis Coates, he speaks of his experiences with the push to “grow up and be somebody” (Coates 93.) The education system is a concrete mold that doesn’t change depending on the person going through the school. This has led to kids like Coates wondering why they’re even there in the first place. Different people have different interests in life, school isn’t always the answer for everyone. The approach they take to force kids to think school is the only road to success, it isn’t the way to go for everyone. If these kids do not finish school, they are punished. If they do go through school, they’re attacked for getting an education. 
2. Critical thinking is the analysis and evaluation of a situation that leads to a decision. Throughout Coates’s essay, he is constantly looking at challenges in his life and asking questions about them. He takes that question and develops it further until he can either develop a nuanced question based upon the previous question, or he digs until he finds the answer. This is exactly what critical thinking is based upon. In this instance, it isn’t a skill that he learned through school, it’s something he does for himself by himself to take control and think about his own life. His grandma showed him how writing can help with the analysis of these problems that come up in our lives. If we write about them, if we think about them, if we explore multiple outcomes instead of just one it can help us solve the problem for us. Coates talks about how “The writing had to answer a series of questions” (94.) It seems to me that this is how Coates solved the problem of education. If we are taught in schools to think in a way that’s beneficial for us and in our best interest, that is how we make it more enjoyable for students. To feel like they can be successful by just thinking for themselves.

Marginal Comments 

“…your first paragraph is very strong in the areas of reference to your authors and a piece of brief but concise background information, but taking these thoughts and developing a bold thesis statement pushing your own voice would be really helpful in driving your paper!”

“Good summary of the work, maybe tie your own ideas into the end of this paragraph as/or after the analysis of the quote. It would strengthen it a lot and you could use the text in your thinking.”

End Comment

“Really nice paper you have going here! You have good use of quotes and quote sandwiches to support your idea. I believe this idea is that both essays written by the 2 authors bring up some valid points but in the end, you lean more towards Chen’s POV. I got this by piecing textual clues you provided together and from the last paragraph. I think this is where bringing your own personal voice into your introduction would be very beneficial, that way the reader would know 100% what you are trying to emphasize. I really liked your second paragraph in particular. It was where I noticed most of your own voice in the paper and gave me some background knowledge to see social media through your eyes. One idea of where you could possibly strengthen your paper is to think a little more deeply on both topics and how they can intertwine with one another, places where they contradict one another or where they are coming from a similar way of thinking. This could also help you make a thesis to push your own views in your intro. My other biggest way I think you could add a little something to finalize your draft is making sure the beginning of your paragraphs bring a little more of your perspective to introduce the paragraph rather than a summary, but other than that your structure flows well and everything looks like it’s coming along well!”

Peer review is a tool that I find extremely beneficial in the writing process. It allows me to strengthen my ideas and push me to think about concepts the way that others around me see them. I try to give good, helpful peer review when it comes to looking at other people’s papers. When I review a peer’s paper, I read it over once or twice to really try and analyze what the big idea they’re trying to push, then I go to applying these bigger picture ideas across the entire paper. I noticed that my marginal comments tended to talk about expanding off an idea that the writer had introduced but not gone into clarification as to what they personally are trying to emphasize there. My end comment took the paper as a whole and broke it down a little, positive feedback as to what the writer did really well and then areas where they could strengthen their writing. I like the concept of an end comment, it is a compact of all the writers’ ideas in one spot. If I didn’t really understand something that someone was peer-reviewing my paper was referencing, I can always look to the end comment to get an overview of the strengths and weaknesses in my piece of writing.

In this section of Anne Lamott’s book, Bird by Bird, she expresses the importance of the drafting process and the different steps that come along with revision. There are multiple parts of the writing process, but the one that is most expressed in Lamott’s writing is the first draft. From the way she puts it, the first draft is built around doing the steps of the writing process, not the product or the quality of work. She says, “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something — anything — down on paper.” (2) In saying this, she is showing her views on how important it is to draft your writing first, just to get something down and get your thoughts flowing. I am in strong agreement with this idea, I think drafting is a crucial part of producing good writing. I cannot express my thoughts in writing the way I want them to come out without a second, third, sometimes even fourth draft, nonetheless a first. The first draft is important to me because it just opens my eyes to flow onto the paper because starting a writing project is the hardest part for me. No matter the quality of the writing I am putting on the page, it is the most key part of me developing my thoughts. Lamott makes a point that I find very true, she states, “In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts.” (1) It is a common idea that what a writer writes in a first draft has to be anywhere close to the final product, in fact, some of the time what I write in a first draft changes my views on an idea entirely. 

Leslie Jamison’s essay, “The Devil’s Bait”, captures her interest in an unexplained disease that others are often hesitant to pay any attention to, nonetheless invest themselves in understanding the people it affects every day like Jamison decided she would do. Morgellons Disease, an ailment that presents itself in physical symptoms such as pain, formication, and, the most profound symptom differing the illness from others, fibers protruding from the surface of the skin. Even years after the first case in 2001 and according to the essay some “12,000” other people reporting symptoms of Morgellons, the disease is not taken seriously by many. Scientists, medical professionals, and loved ones first take to blaming mental illness or drugs when first hearing the symptoms these patients are experiencing. Jamison even includes part of a released CDC study surrounding “Unexplained Dermopathy”, and after citing the report stated, “the author suggested, with some delicacy, that patients might be treated for a number of ‘co-existing conditions’, such as drug abuse and psychosomatic disorders.” (65) This is important to realize because some of the patients who have concluded they have the disease have no history with either of these factors. 

Throughout the essay, Jamison discusses her time spent at a Morgellons conference she attended at The Westoak Woods Baptist Church. She tells the stories of some of the people she met there, she explains the differences in their experiences and their symptoms. But throughout all the differences, one effect of the disease that was similar across the board is one which isn’t shown as a physical symptom. It is havoc which the uncertainty of what is going to happen next wreaks on their mental health. Whether it be the fact that they don’t know what symptoms are going to arise or not knowing who is going to believe them when they talk about the illness. Jamison enters the world of the people suffering from a different point of view other than a scientist or doctor. In the field of science, in order to believe something you need to see the proof, real, hard, replicable evidence. Because Leslie Jamison is not a scientist, she’s not a doctor, not a researcher, but an interested novelist. A researcher who Jamison came in touch with told her this, “When I heard of your interest, I felt genuine hope that the real story would be told accurately and sensitively.” (70) By including this in her essay, Jamison is representing how researchers and doctors have to stick to the facts because that is the base of their profession, and how this may be a drive for her and others to be passionate about learning all aspects of the story.

Paraphrasing and summary are crucial aspects of writing analysis, but despite their importance, the two are often mixed up. The main difference between summarizing and paraphrasing is the way you present the information given in the text. When paraphrasing, you as the writer are taking the authors ideas directly from the text as they are written. Though the paraphrased text is the same idea, it is often shorter than the original because it is a condensed version of the original writer’s thoughts. The summary is a bit different, you are still explaining a text that has already been written but you are putting it into your own words. This is why you have to cite your source when you are paraphrasing but not when summarizing, because the summary is completely your own thoughts. Summary is important because it shows that you spent time reading the text and analyzing so you are able to express it in the way you viewed it. Though the two are different from one another, they are both important to writing, especially academic writing. If you are trying to get a reader to listen to something you are expressing through writing, summary is a good way to give background on a subject they may not know of, and in addition to your own personal view of the text, paraphrasing directly from the source backs up what you’re saying to take any possible view of bias out of the question.

In the TED Talk by Chimamanda Adichie, the Nigerian Novelist discusses how people view ways of life from around the world that are not their own, and the dangers of not being able to open our eyes to see everyone’s true stories. Her idea of hearing “a single story” as she puts it, and basing the way we look at a specific person or group of people because of a single story, is a viewpoint that we need to move away from. This is something that is not discussed much even though it ties into so many different parts of our lives; literature, political issues, personal relationships, world views. The way we see people and think about their stories affects the way we treat other people, so why are we so quick to listen to a story and believe it? Adichie uses her trip to Mexico as an example. She traveled to Guadalajara, Mexico, and viewed real people the way that they really live their lives. In the media, we are constantly bombarded with other people’s views and opinions that we accept them as our own before we even know the full story. The example of Mexican immigration is an excellent example of this that many people can relate to. Adichie stated, “So that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.” In saying this, she is expressing how important it is to not be so quick to see an entire group of people just because of one way someone has seen them as.

Adichie has adopted this value into her way of life, using her influences in literature to push this idea of the single-story viewpoint. This is a way of looking at people that I hope someday because of people spreading their word, their stories, more people are able to use in their own ways of looking at others. A powerful quote from Adichie that showed me how the views of other people we have affect them,“Stories matter. Many stories matter. Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign, but stories can also be used to empower and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people, but stories can also repair that broken dignity.” This exemplifies the strength of a story about others, the effects it has on one’s culture or way of life, and puts it into a compare and contrast viewpoint that could be beneficial in getting others to think about it in a similar manner.